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Praktische Sicherheitsaspekte sind generell von entscheidender Bedeutung. Ähnliche Designs. Wismeijer und van Assens Studie von zeigten, dass die Identifizierung mit der Rolle und dem Geschlecht stark und bedeutsam sind. Die Ergebnisse zeigten, dass BDSMler weniger neurotisch, extrovertierter, offener gegenüber neuen Erfahrungen, weniger anfällig für Zurückweisung, weniger unsicher innerhalb ihrer Beziehung sind und ein subjektiv höheres Wohlbefinden empfinden als die Vergleichsgruppe ohne BDSM-Präferenzen.

Even the most passionate relationships lose steam after years of having sex the same way. But these are all extreme versions of kink and BDSM.

Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to crank up the kink and add a little—or a lot—of spice to your flat-lined sex life.

We spoke with sexual health experts and surveyed roughly 1, about their sex life. It might be daunting to have a conversation about trying something new in bed before you're actually, you know, in bed.

But it's crucial nonetheless: if you pull out your new moves in the moment, your partner might be caught totally off guard, and no one wants that.

You want your partner to feel comfortable and excited about the experience, which is why you want to get enthusiastic consent before trying anything out.

It might be easier to begin this talk with relatively tame fantasies or role-playing ideas, says Allison. If you make a big deal about asking, or if you look terrified once you make the request, that could freak your partner out.

Watching porn or reading erotica together may help charge you both up and make it easier to discuss new ideas, Allison says. If that sounds weird, just remember that Fifty Shades of Grey was a bestseller for a reason, and it wasn't because men were reading it.

It might also be helpful to ditch the kids. Dropping them off with your parents or getting away to a hotel for a night can help you and your partner disconnect from your distractions, Allison says.

A hotel is also a good idea because new settings can ease your transition into new experiences. Now that you and your partner are on the same page, there are plenty of ways to actually go about getting down with a little more flair than usual.

You don't have to use handcuffs or chains to add some kink to your sex life though if you're interested in finding a pair, we love these silk chain link cuffs from the LELO Confession Couples' Gift Set.

You can start pretty small with some light bondage and restraint play. During one of your romps, use your hands to restrain hers above her head.

If she seems to like that go ahead, ask , consider taking it further the next time around. Use gentle knots and give yourself access to all areas.

Then resume what you were doing. Only slower. I like feeling that he could just have his way with me and I'd be powerless to stop him.

It's total trust, and that's sexy. Spanking can absolutely liven things up. If she laughs, laugh along with her. Consider a moan permission to continue.

Yes, many kinky folks live to achieve orgasms. However, denying that climax can make it even more intense. Role play requires a herculean suspension of disbelief, but it can also pay off in a big way.

For a public thrill, go to a bar where neither of you will be recognized. Arrive 20 minutes apart and try to pick her up, pretending you've never laid eyes on each other.

Always wanted to blatantly hit on a hot stranger? Now you can. You're not going for an Emmy here—just great sex.

The role play allowed me to show a different side of myself that both of us enjoyed. We summon my inner hussy on a monthly basis now!

If learning a kinkier sex act seems intimidating, adding an 'unknown' person to an otherwise vanilla bed can make things spicy.

Explore yourself with your finger and then put it in his mouth. I'm not even sure if you should ask. I know I know, social contract.

I know women have decided they hate ing , so face the other direction and "concentrate" on your magic.

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It can be a tad challenging, but Chin Hing-Michaluk recommends this position to engage with your partner's entire body.

Do It : Get into a partial bridge position like a pinball machine , with your weight resting on your shoulders. Have your partner tie your hands to the bedpost or headboard, then let them enter you from a kneeling position.

You can also experiment with sucking toes or upping the kink with a vibrator. Give the toy over to your partner, lay all the way back, close your eyes, and let them take control Do It : Sit on the bed with legs toward one another, arms back to support yourselves.

Now move together until your genital touch. Your hips will be between their spread legs, your knees bent, and feet outside of their hips and flat on the bed.

Now rock back and forth. The Cross-Booty is a standout lie-down? Trust, some are. Do It : Have them lie across your lap, with your hips tipped up so they can enter you.

Clit-to-clit, strap-on, P-in-the-V Just looking at this sex move feels kinky, no? The top partner is in complete control—with a little help from a friend called gravity—whereas the bottom partner is basically twisted into a sexy pretzel.

The dominant partner should tend to the submissive partner. To turn it up, have your partner dribble chocolate syrup or something sweet into your mouth to light up even more of your senses.

Do It : Lie on your back with your legs raised and folded over so that your ankles are on either side of your head, while they squat and dips their penis, strap-on, or fingers in and out of your vagina.

Exercise your storytelling skills with role-play, setting up a scene that ultimately leads to lying face down, says Chin Hing-Michaluk.

Under-the-bed restraints or using a pillow under the hips can also amp up the experience. Standing sex isn't easy, but it sure is kinky as hell.

And the Stand and Deliver takes it up a notch, with your partner grabbing your hands and more or less dominating your body. All the blood rushing to your head in the bent-over position—plus the fact that your vaginal walls tighten in this stance—can seriously add to the intensity.

To make it kinkier, use a tie or cuffs to restrain the wrists and ankles, says Chin Hing-Michaluk. And you can try this out anywhere exhibitionism, anyone?

Do It : With both of you standing, you bend over at the waist; your partner enters you from behind. Certain Black people sought to embrace beauty and affirm and accept their natural physical traits.

One of the ultimate goals of the Black movement was to evolve to a level where Black people "were proud of black skin and kinky or nappy hair.

As a result, natural hair became a symbol of that pride. Wearing natural hair was seen as a progressive statement, and for all the support that the movement gathered, there were many who opposed natural hair both for its aesthetics and the ideology that it promoted.

It caused tensions between the Black and White communities, as well as discomfort amongst more conservative African-Americans.

The style of kinky hair continues to be politicized in contemporary American society. In several post-colonial societies, the value system promotes ' white bias ', and "ethnicities are valorized according to the tilt of whiteness—[which] functions as the ideological basis for status ascription.

Racism 'works' by encouraging the devaluation of self-identity by the victims themselves, and that re-centering of a sense of pride is a prerequisite for a politics of resistance and reconstruction.

In this system, "hair functions as a key 'ethnic signifier' because, compared with bodily shape or facial features, it can be changed more easily by cultural practices such as straightening.

Natural hairstyles, such as the Afro and dreadlocks , "counter-politicized the signifier of ethnic devalorization, redefining Blackness as a positive attribute".

Wearing one's hair naturally also opens up a new debate: Are those who decide to still wear their hair straightened, for example, less 'Black' or 'proud' of their heritage, than those who decide to wear their hair naturally?

This debate is an often-ongoing topic of discussion within the community. The issue is highly debated and disputed, creating almost a social divide within the community between those who decide to be natural and those who do not.

After the American Civil War and emancipation , many African-Americans migrated to larger towns or cities, where they were influenced by new styles.

The photos below show 19th-century women leaders with a variety of styles with natural hair. Others straightened their hair to conform to White beauty ideals.

They wanted to succeed, and to avoid mistreatment including legal and social discrimination. Some women, and a smaller number of men, lightened their hair with household bleach.

A variety of caustic products that contained bleaches, including laundry bleach, designed to be applied to afro-textured hair, were developed in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, as African Americans demanded more fashion options.

They used creams and lotions, combined with hot irons, to straighten their hair. The Black hair care industry was initially dominated by White-owned businesses.

Walker , Madam Gold S. Young, Sara Spencer Washington and Garrett Augustus Morgan revolutionized hair care by inventing and marketing chemical and heat-based applications to alter the natural tightly curled texture.

They rapidly became successful and dominated the Black hair care market. Men began using pomades, among other products, to achieve the standard aesthetic look.

During the s, conking vividly described in The Autobiography of Malcolm X became an innovative method in the U. Women at that time tended either to wear wigs, or to hot-comb their hair rather than conk it in order to temporarily mimic a straight style without permanently altering the natural curl pattern.

Popular until the s, the conk hair style was achieved through the application of a painful lye , egg and potato mixture that was toxic and immediately burned the scalp.

Black-owned businesses in the hair-care industry provided jobs for thousands of African-Americans. These business owners gave back strongly to the African-American community.

These offered permanents and hair-straightening , as well as cutting and styling services, some to both White and Black clients.

In this era, men regularly went to barber shops to have their beards groomed, and some Black barbers developed exclusively White, elite clientele, sometimes in association with hotels or clubs.

Media images tended to perpetuate the ideals of European beauty of the majority culture, even when featuring African-Americans.

African-Americans began sponsoring their own beauty events. The winners, many of whom wore straight hair styles and some of whom were of mixed race , adorned Black magazines and product advertisements.

In the early 20th century, media portrayal of traditional African hair styles, such as braids and cornrows, was associated with African-Americans who were poor and lived in rural areas.

In the early decades of the Great Migration , when millions of African Americans left the South for opportunities in northern and midwestern industrial cities, many African Americans wanted to leave this rural association behind.

Civil rights activist and suffragist Ida B. Wells in styled natural hair. Photo taken between and Successful entrepreneur Madam C. Walker invented a method that relaxed textured hair.

Photo taken c. African-American children with braided styles in Natchitoches, Louisiana , Jazz musician Eddie South sporting a conk , or congolene hairstyle, African-American woman in New Orleans in with styled kinky hair.

Scholars debate whether hair-straightening practices arose out of Black desires to conform to a Eurocentric standard of beauty, or as part of their individual experiments with fashions and changing styles.

Some believe that slaves and later African-Americans absorbed prejudices of the European slaveholders and colonizers, who considered most slaves as second-class , as they were not citizens.

Ayana Byrd and Lori Tharp say that they believe the preference for Eurocentric ideas of beauty still pervades the Western world.

African-American hair has been through many different cycles. Slavery played a major role in the ups and downs of the pride that African-Americans take in their hair.

It's the perfect metaphor for the African experiment here: the price of the ticket for a journey no one elected to take , the toll of slavery, and the costs remaining.

It's all in the hair. Like Jamaica Kincaid , who writes only about a character named Mother, I've decided to write only about hair: what we do to it, how we do it, and why.

These relaxers often contained sodium hydroxide lye or guanidine hydroxide which result in hair breakage, thinning of the hair, slowing of hair growth, scalp damage and even hair loss, according to Gheni Platenurg in the article, "Black Women Returning to Their Natural Hair Roots".

In the United States, the successes of the civil rights movement , and the Black power and Black pride movements of the s and s, inspired African-Americans to express their political commitments by adopting more traditionally African styles.

The Afro hairstyle developed as an affirmation of Black African heritage, expressed by the phrase, "Black is beautiful.

This movement influenced a generation, including celebrities like Diana Ross , whose Jheri curls took over the s. Civil rights activist Angela Davis wearing an Afro in African-American musician Billy Preston in Movie screenshot of actor Richard Lawson in Black Fist African-American guitarist Johnny "Guitar" Watson in African-American country music singer Charley Pride in Since the late 20th century, Black people have experimented with a variety of styles, including cornrows , locks , braiding , hair twists and short, cropped hair, specifically designed for kinky hair.

With the emergence of hip-hop culture and Jamaican influences like reggae music, more non-Black people have begun to wear these hairstyles as well.

A new market has developed in such hair products as "Out of Africa" shampoo. The popularity of natural hair has waxed and waned. In the early 21st century, a significant percentage of African-American women still straighten their hair with relaxers of some kind either heat- or chemical-based.

This is done despite the fact that prolonged application of such chemicals or heat can result in overprocessing, breakage and thinning of the hair.

Rooks argues that hair-care products designed to straighten hair, which have been marketed by white-owned companies in African American publications since the s, represent unrealistic and unattainable standards of beauty.

Sales of relaxers took a great fall among African-American women from to Many African-American women gave up relaxers to go back to their natural roots.

During the same time period, the number of natural-hair support groups has increased. Meanwhile, sales of products for styling natural hair continued to rise.

Chris Rock 's documentary Good Hair has shown what many women go through to achieve the "European standard" of hair.

Black woman has finally decided that it was simply too much", according to the documentary. Black hairstyles have been utilized to promote the idea of identity in the Black community.

Though this expression of identity has been joyful for the community, it is not celebrated as much in American culture. There have been numerous events in history that have shown disapproval of Black hair styles, some of which have transcended into present day.

Black hairstyles that are straight and more reserved seem to be the more accepted styles. Other hair styles may face scrutiny due to their vast difference to the White beauty idealistic hair.

The idea of accommodating this White beauty ideal has a strong presence in everyday life, but more specifically the workplace. The station threatened to take Tolliver off the air until the story caught national attention.

KGO called her hairstyle "inappropriate and distracting". After two weeks of a public dispute, an NAACP demonstration outside of the station, and negotiations, Reed and the station reached an agreement.

The company paid her lost salary, and she removed the colored beads. She returned to the air, still braided, but beadless.

Sherman was criticized by some in the community, who thought that the book presented a negative stereotype although it won three awards , but she was supported by most parents of her students.

Imus apologized two days later, after receiving widespread criticism. Her slide show included her negative comments about Black women wearing natural hairstyles in the workplace, calling them "shocking", "inappropriate", and "political".

Both the law firm and Glamour Magazine issued apologies to the staff. In , Chris Rock produced Good Hair , a documentary film which addresses a number of issues pertaining to African-American hair.

He explores the styling industry, the variety of styles now acceptable in society for African-American women's hair, and the relations of these to African-American culture.

But these are all extreme versions of kink and BDSM. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to crank up the kink and add a little—or a lot—of spice to your flat-lined sex life.

We spoke with sexual health experts and surveyed roughly 1, about their sex life. It might be daunting to have a conversation about trying something new in bed before you're actually, you know, in bed.

But it's crucial nonetheless: if you pull out your new moves in the moment, your partner might be caught totally off guard, and no one wants that.

You want your partner to feel comfortable and excited about the experience, which is why you want to get enthusiastic consent before trying anything out.

It might be easier to begin this talk with relatively tame fantasies or role-playing ideas, says Allison. If you make a big deal about asking, or if you look terrified once you make the request, that could freak your partner out.

Watching porn or reading erotica together may help charge you both up and make it easier to discuss new ideas, Allison says. If that sounds weird, just remember that Fifty Shades of Grey was a bestseller for a reason, and it wasn't because men were reading it.

It might also be helpful to ditch the kids. Dropping them off with your parents or getting away to a hotel for a night can help you and your partner disconnect from your distractions, Allison says.

A hotel is also a good idea because new settings can ease your transition into new experiences.

Now that you and your partner are on the same page, there are plenty of ways to actually go about getting down with a little more flair than usual.

You don't have to use handcuffs or chains to add some kink to your sex life though if you're interested in finding a pair, we love these silk chain link cuffs from the LELO Confession Couples' Gift Set.

You can start pretty small with some light bondage and restraint play. During one of your romps, use your hands to restrain hers above her head.

If she seems to like that go ahead, ask , consider taking it further the next time around. Use gentle knots and give yourself access to all areas.

Then resume what you were doing. Only slower. I like feeling that he could just have his way with me and I'd be powerless to stop him.

It's total trust, and that's sexy. Spanking can absolutely liven things up. If she laughs, laugh along with her.

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